Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
