I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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