I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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