omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
