Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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