I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
