Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
