im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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