So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
