no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
