some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
