Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
