just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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