you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
