Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
