i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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