I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
