I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
