I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
