I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
