soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
