how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
