I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
