was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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