Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
