i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do vagina's smell?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
