Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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