we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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