left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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