i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
