Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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