yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
