I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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