What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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