Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
