We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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