According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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