He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
