Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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