Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
