so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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