that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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