Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
