oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
