It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
