let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize