I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
