I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
