I wish I could punch you in the face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
