Someone shit on the floor
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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