Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
